Ruby, the gay dude??

The scariest shit happened to me this morning. My uncle, who works as a very high-paid surgeon at this fancy hospital, informed me that there may be a chance of me turning into a boy. DANG!! I didn’t see that kind of statement coming. It is either that or cancer. All of these assumptions were voiced out due to the oddity he found concerning my voice. He said it is too deep and has yet to soften like a girl’s. Truth to be told, this is the way I speak since I was a little girl. It might have evolved over the years but all and all, I find my voice normal for a person of my capacity - being very loud and outspoken and all. Or maybe it has something to do with my body size? I do weight around 200 pounds and such heavy load surely affects at least some supposedly healthy systems in my body. Sounds so scary, is it not?

Weird thing is; I actually fear the prospect of being a boy more than having cancer. Let’s analysis this in a more detailed manner – I have cancer, I’d be sad, I’d get everything I want, every one suddenly loves me out of nowhere, I’d be more religious since I’d be dying and I’d most probably die young. On the other hand, if I am to change into a boy, the whole picture is much fuglier; I have to change my name, first n foremost and how my biology works. The worse has yet to come – even my whole sense of identity needs to be re-structured. What about my feministic mindset and guys-cannot-be-trusted principles? What would happen to them? I do not want to be a dude who hates his own sex. And my social circle – I’ll have to force myself to like porn, fast cars and girls with fake implants. Thus, one more problem coming - I like guys. As much as I distrust the male species, I still think they are the most beautiful God-given creatures on earth. Those jaws, those shoulders, those six packs – my happiness cannot even be described upon seeing such artistic sculptures. So if I am to turn into a boy, it is almost a confirmation that I’ll turn into a gay one as well. Ruby, the gay dude... that is even worse than my current nickname – Ruby, the cursing loud gangster. The whole aspect of turning into a boy is just unacceptable.

Therefore, it is safe to say, dear readers, that I’ll most probably end up killing myself even before my ‘penis’ begins forming. But then, the idea of having unlimited access to the male’s toilet, male’s shower rooms and male’s saunas sounds all too inviting; is it not? Now that is also something to die for.