You know what makes me really angry? People telling me on how to live my life. I have this problem with people treating my life as if they have any share in it or as if they have the power to switch this, switch that. As if they are my superior and I am bound to follow their advices when the actual matter of fact is that I am just pretending to listen and be nice out of my respect to them. It is okay if they are advising on something I did or do wrong. But to advice me on something that is not wrong at all as if it is wrong is a different thing altogether. I have much more serious things to worry about.
But hey, I’m cool about advices. As long as it is not so freaking repetitive. Example; 2006 –Ruby, you’re getting big. Lose weight. 2007 – Ruby, learn to exercise, 2008 – Ruby, what a pretty girl you’ll be if you’re smaller, 2009 – guys would so much admire you IF you are slim. Sometimes, I just want to scream at them to stop. I get it, okay, I get your point – I’m heavy and in dire need to exercise based on their perspective who only saw me like... once a year. Yeah, of course I should listen to them [nope!]. And yes, of course it is always right for them to think that I am not taking any action about it, since they see me only once a year[nope!]. Thus, it is totally logical for them to have that thinking based on that one meeting per year, right? Boo, NOO!!!
Like I said, I am a complicated person. I’m a thinking proud girl who sees herself as a future judge and maybe the first female Chief Justice of the Federal Court in the history of the Malaysian judiciary. I read law. I know politics. I indulge myself in classic and feminist literature. I listen to Tori Amos and Sami Yusuf. There are a lot of other talk-able features about me aside from being huge but why is it that certain people have this perception that that is the only thing about me that matters? Don’t blame me for saying this because they cannot seem to stop talking about it every time we meet... a few times annually.
But, then, after I gave it a thought for quite some time, I came up with a new theory. Maybe because they had known me since I was little [I was way skinnier back then]. So, forever in their eyes, I am always that ‘little talkative happy-go-lucky girl’. How wrong can they be as now I have transformed into a ‘bitter-selfish-feminist-antisocial-cold-insolent college loner who enjoy her own company the most’. So, with this image of being the ‘little girl’, they have this mindset that it is okay for them to criticize me on my lifestyle like I am still their, well... ‘little girl’. How should I pray, how should I talk to my dad and my family... What they fail to realise is that there is actually a time limit on treating someone like a little girl. Which is, jeng, jeng, jeng – stop treating someone like a little girl when they’re already evidently obviously a grown-up person! Why is it that some of those superior than us fail to understand that... It just so... so... so... annoying...
“Ruby, are you sure this is done in the right way?” For God’s sake, I know how to run my life. And I believe the Constitution gives me the right to handle things my own way as long as it does not affect other people. So, get off me and my books and my stuffs. Observe and ask – fine with me. Complain and criticize that my ways of living MY LIFE can be wrong – yeah, NOPE!
“Be a woman. Family-oriented. What? You don’t want to get married? Crazy arr you!!” Yeah, craziness is, in a way, an important part of being a human being. So, I actually don’t mind being crazy sometimes. What does that have to do with you anyway? As my umi said and I quote, “you won’t need a guy in your life if success and money are in your hands’.
So please, go impose your ‘full-of-goodness’ life rules on your own life. But please, I beg you, don’t try to go to others and tell them to follow ways of which you deemed right because you know what? Those may not be right after all. Okay, get it? Great... Now I’m hungry after all this pissed-off management writing.
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