Family

what is the definition of family?

someone whom you share blood connection with?

a mother, father, sisters, brothers?

i've always been interested in the notion people have that states, "family matters most" or "there's no one like family." how our family is supposed to be the most important institution in life. and we live in an eastern society. no one is supposed to NOT love the family.

but then.... what if the family members are people of whom we don't feel any connection with? are we supposed to feel love towards our family members just because they share the same home and blood bond with us? can't we just look at them from the other perspective - would we love them as real persons who understand, love and accept us the way we are if they're not our family?

i begin to realize one thing as i mature into adulthood - it is possible to feel that 'home' is not that 'safe heaven' anymore. anywhere can be a safe heaven, as long as you're happy and content with it. if you're not happy and content at home, then come whatever that may be attached to it - parents, money, free food etc - you would want to get the hell out of it. it would appear, to you, as something so alien and distant. overtime, you don't see yourself in it anymore.

then, would 'home' be home? would you want to go back to 'home' during weekends or semester breaks? or would you stay in your independent life outside your family of where you can decide to love that person based on who they are and not because you have to. in which world would you feel happier?

it is an evil thought. to think that we find our main happiness outside our family scope. but it happens and that's reality. just that people don't really dare to think of it much.

i still believe that family is family because of love. because you want to see that person happy. and because you would do anything to see that person smiles and glows upon seeing you. and because you do really want that person [ie the family member] in your life. i really do admire and believe of this 'family of love'.... but there exists family without the essence of love - where people live in the same house because they want to and because it is the supposed thing they should do.

people become housewives - they give birth and take care of the family home. that's it. that's their job. they make meals, clean house etc. but do they do it with love? do they care if their children come up to them with stories to tell? to consult on their lives? or just to talk?

if people ask me what is the thing i miss most of my childhood, then my answer would be, "my childhood". we lived in fantasy at that moment of time. we worried of no real issues. we were sheltered. we could still love people without knowing who they are in reality. we were injected with this teaching of good morality and obedience. we keep loving and loving people without realizing the extent of that people's love to us.

i can't remember when is the last time i had dinner with my family - all of them. was it last year or the year before? when was the last time we sit in the same table and talk? our lives, our future, our hopes and dreams... or is it just that we are not interested in knowing? but the saddest thing is that we still think of us as a great family when the reality proves otherwise. we run our own lives, it's just that we have a home to supposedly belong.

fulfilling material and physical requirements - parents, kids, houses, cars, education, funding - doesn't make a group of people family. when would people finally realize that?

Ruby Jusoh would like to adopt a daughter and a son. she would try her best to avoid all the mistakes she witnesses in the course of her life and ensured that her children would always have a home with a guardian angel they could rely on...