I Dreamt of Being Married, Literally

I've been having a really bad writer's block lately. I know not of what to write. No issues interest me and no ideas come to mind. I was left alone within the blank emptiness of my mind. 

God came to help yesterday. He gave me a dream [duh] which is worthy of topping my most-hated dreams for all time.

I've been having this bad feeling that God would retaliate towards my extremely negative sentiment towards marriage. I knew not how, though. He could marry me earlier than expected, get me knocked out one way or another, or force me to attend any weddings I have absolute zero sincerity in going.

I don't hate weddings. I am just sceptical. As Fatma put it - "can there be any more pessimistic person than you when it comes to marriage?" 

I would just grin. Duh. 

But last night, I think the retaliation had finally arrived.

In the form of a dream.

I dreamed the most lambasted dream of my life. And the most tiring one at that.

I was married. Forcibly. To a guy. Not just any guy but to an innocent, naive-looking guy who seemed to care more for his computer than his real world. He had long hair and wore spectacles. Not too fair, not too dark.

Simply put, he's not cute. Too bad. I want a cute husband. 

So from now on, I am not getting near to any guys with that kind of look. I am in no interest of meeting my 'virtual' husband.

The dream even had a solid korean drama-like storyline. And I really thought it was real. How could I not when I saw my parents' face clearly? *a serious WTF moment* My father's face when he so enthuthiastically suggested to me the unification between the two families. I almost puked. And my mother's hopeful face. 

More puking.

The dude basically came from a powerful family. His father had mobs and stuffs. And I had a boyfriend. Hahahaha!!! That has to be my favourite part of the bullshitting dream. A boyfriend! I never even have one in real life. Too bad I can't really recall his face though. But he seemed quite good-looking, if I'm not mistaken. Three days prior to the marriage, we even planned to elope together.

I swore to God in amazement on how I managed to not laugh at the situation I was stuck in.

Well, the plan did not work. My father-in-law had his relatives surrounded around my home. So elopement was not possible. So I let my boyfriend go. Huh, what a foolish action now that I remember it. He was a hundred times better looking than my then-husband to be.

So I married the guy. But before the marriage, we had a simple discussion. The gist of it was basically of me not going to act dutifully as a wife post-marriage - I am not going to obey orders, move to Johor Bharu with him [I remember clearly that he was studying there] and my life would keep running as usual as if I never married him. I am going to continue my studies in Shah Alam and I impliedly said that I wanted him out of my sight and life.

Signs of a future bad wife, much?

Perhaps because of the way I entered the marriage. It was forced and I could still recalled vividly on how I hated it. I didn't really hate the husband  since I barely knew the boring-looking guy; I just hated being married so early.

Then after the marriage, we met occasionally during weekends. Had meals and all that. Nothing much happened. I felt nothing for him. How weird it was. 

Then my phone alarm rang and I woke up.

Man, I have to tell you how relieved I was. And very mentally tired. It was like shooting a 60-episodes drama in eight hours. All the mental running and stuffs. And the cursing, too. 

"Thank God I'm not married!" was the first thing I told myself this morning. I was super glad that I am not attached to anybody. The feelings were almost repulsive. Imagining it was not a good thing, what more experiencing it myself, albeit in a dream.

Aside from that, I have a list of dreams I've had of which I wish to never EVER encounter again. One of them of bringing my virtual boyfriend to meet my parents *another WTF moment*. I woke up almost having a heart attack. 

Fatma told me she used to have this dream of her virtual husband taking care of her when she had a fever. She could not see his face though. So I guess that could be her real future husband. I mean, people often say when you dream of someone but couldn't really recognize his face, he is supposed to be someone very important to you in the future. Some sort of indication or whatever. 

I've seen the face of all guys I've dreamed of. No mystery there. No pleasant faces, too. It tends to get disappointing.

Why can't I dream of a better-looking man? Since real marriage is far off or almost impossible, should I be married in a dream, why can't I have a better looking man to be my husband?

Is there any ways to ensure that? Am I supposed to stare at any of those hot guys posters for two hours if I want them to appear in my dreams? Should I start googling for their pics? 

Man, I'm getting more psycho.

Even that dude from Twilight or Harry Potter will do. Or Korean dramas. Hahaha, then we wouldn't call it a forced marriage now, would we? 

Ruby Jusoh is a twenty years old girl who feels like a thirty years old lady. Hating relationships and men even before knowing them. Getting older in thinking, getting fatter in physics. Too bad her money is running out. The only indication that she's still one useless childish daughter is her financial dependency upon her father.

P/S: for the purpose of making my head feels better.....

haih..... =)))