Move Move

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God knows what may happen in the few years... but we are always given the privilege to plan, to hope and have something to look forward to. Our plan may fail but God's willing, if we work hard enough, it may materialize.

At the age of twenty, and with two years left until graduation, I have to start thinking. In three or four years time, where will I be? What will happen to us [us being people of my age]?

The desire of experiencing something new is getting more and more intense. Am I bored of my current situation in Malaysia? Yes, most probably. Being a middle-class daughter without any financial or social worries WORRIES me. If I let myself to be trapped in the same predictable path 'of success' - as people love to call it - then I fear I would stop marveling at life as the beautiful thing that it is.

So I have this seemingly crazy idea to move overseas after graduation. Now there are two ways of achieving that - continue my Masters or getting a job. A Masters sound more convenient compared to the other. Besides, I love studying - only the stuff that I love, though. I don't mind whichever country - just as long as I can get out of my predictable routine.

This situation of boredom with my current condition - it's not Malaysia's fault. I wouldn't call it that way. I may sound ungrateful for the safety and security Malaysia has to offer but each individual is gifted with his or her inclination. God gives us a mind each for us to think about what we want. I have had many many years to think about that. It used to be from glory to glamor, money to fame, apartment to big big mansion - only to realize that knowing what we want from life can be the end to life itself.

Now that sounds puzzling. How? Why? Because.... if we discover what we want from life, then we are looking at life as a person. We decide how our relationship with life should work. Once we decide to be the controller, that predictability starts to come in. And when that happens, boredom will follow suit.

But then, life is much more than that. It is not something we can control or order. Life knows more stuff that we even dare to think of. Rather than looking at life and demanding something from it, I would rather dive into the gist of life itself and gain happiness from what it has to offer me which I have yet to know.

So my dream of living in another country for a few years does not stem from the fact that I am disappointed in Malaysia etc etc, it is more of a metaphorical desire my heart and head keep telling me. They are telling me to discover something new. I have forty years before me - do I really want to spend that doing predictable stuffs that people want or expect me to do?

There are also arguments like I am being an ungrateful Malaysian or I am not so patriotic to this country.

Well, I have a counter-argument that can somehow piss people off. I am a Malaysian. Legally and technically. Biologically, I have no idea. Spiritually, I have no idea. Deep inside, I have began to realize that rather than limiting yourself to one citizenship, choosing to be human of a universal race is much more rewarding. It allows us to open up ourself from the walls of delusional sense of belonging. Yes, Malaysia is home because I have been raised here. But the rules apply worldwide, does it not? If I happened to be born in Indonesia or Singapore or Zimbabwe, then I'd call them home as well. And maybe from there, I'd choose to move to Malaysia to discover something new here.

Huh. Man. What the hell am I rambling now?

I am bored. So my readers, please excuse me. Being a student can make you feel hollow and empty. That could be the reason why my soul is desperate to search for something that may rewardingly fill the empty spaces of excitement within myself.

So I have to study hard. Not that I'm seeking for a top-notch well-paid job but because it would be easier to get a Masters sponsorship overseas if my grades are great on paper. Huh. Hell, as much as I want to experience something new, paying for it would be almost impossible. So I am encouraging myself to study hard for money. Yup, that sounds like a worthy cause. Because we are past the phase where we think grades can actually improve us as individuals. Huh, we all know that needs more than what our education system can offer us.

So I just decided I want to spend a big chunk of my lifetime travelling. Hopefully if I ever change my mind in two years time and succumb to the 'realistic' demand for me to live a 'normal life' here in Malaysia, my friends will remind me of this post that I am writing.

List of countries I want explore and learn about them the most....

1 - India

2- Pakistan

3 - Turkey

4 - Morocco

5 - Iran

Now, I think that's enough for a lifetime... Hahahahaha

A girl can dream, can she...




Ruby Jusoh had a dream that she and her good friend, Atiqah Anas would be migrating to New York and live there. Ruby, as a stauch dreamer, believes that is a sign from God that she would reach her dreams one day. Or maybe she just wants it so bad. HAHAHAHA.... damn....