To Write or Not To Write

I have an eccentric little brother. He's 16 and he's a happy boy. He loves games and fantasy books and hates fashion. In other words, he's a huge nerd/geek/whatever. And I am the only sibling he talks to, ever. Because apparently, only crazy mind can understand another crazy mind.

My lil' bro and sis. All three of us are equally crazy, I think...

We had an interesting talk just now this morning. He told me that his language teacher gave a homework - one that he's reluctant to complete. No, he's not being lazy, he's being RELUCTANT. Which is weird. Since he's a smart-ass. He's lazy but he's smart.

So he explained it to me. He needed to write an essay.

It was kinda predictable. So I asked, "do you have to write about abah?"

"No, worse," replied he.

I was surprised. What could be worse than having to write about our late father who passed away barely three four months ago?

"I have to write about "Father's Sacrifices For The Sake of the Children's Future."

And my heart went, "DAMN!" If it was making him uncomfortable, I told him not to write it. It's hard thinking about our late father, what more thinking and writing an essay about the whole notion...

I said, "you can't really write that our father worked his ass off to guard our family and secure our future and passed away due to a heart attack, can you?"

He said he can't. And it was really REALLY uncomfortable. He was almost moved to tears while drafting the essay. Plus, it was not an easy relationship. There was my mom as the angry bitter first wife and the aunty who was my father's second wife. Lots of drama, lots of heartache. I figured it'd be best to put it behind us.

Then that teacher asked my brother to write an essay about it. Maybe she doesn't recall that one of her student's father just passed away. Maybe she did not mean to be insensitive.

So I told him, "no need to push yourself too hard. Go see your teacher tomorrow and ask for a different essay topic. I'm sure she'll understand."

I know my reaction is perhaps a bit over-dramatic but I think that's best for my brother. And for me. If I am in his position, I won't write it, too. Maybe there'll be a day where we will all be comfortable thinking, discussing and writing about him. Maybe. In a year or two or three - I don't know. Someday. But not now. Now is hard. Now, what's left of my family after his passing is not ready to face it.

Grief really does take a lot of time, does it? It's very slow. But we all know there's no possible way to speed things up. It's not a movie. So we just have to get through it. My best friends lost their mother two years ago. The pain never left. It is still there with them, I could sense it. Will I be the same? Will two years not be enough?

God only knows.